Thursday, August 25, 2011
1) I've moved this blog over to Wordpress. It will allow me more freedom and has more options for the custom theme I'm working on.
2) I'm now the proud owner of www.BipolarNextDoor.com So if you have this blog saved in a reader (or bookmarked) then you'll need to change your subscription to that domain.
Come join me!
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
They had all the kids sitting in classroom groups in the gym. When we walked in he saw his friends and bolted. I had to call him back to hug me goodbye, he was just too excited to go. At the end of last year he was chosen to test for the Gifted program and did really well so this year he'll have some out of class time to do the Gifted and Talented program.
I can't believe how much he's grown this last year. He's so independent and so smart. He's very loving (most of the time) with his sisters. I remember reading over at Brittany's site her 10 Rules For My Children. One of them said "Fight. Pull hair. Scream. Slam doors. Say you hate each other in the heat of the moment. But when it comes to someone else doing any of these things to one of your siblings....eat their face off." And that? Is exactly what I want for my children. They're going to fight. They're going to have times when they don't like each other. But in the long run I know that Remi would squash anyone who tried to hurt one of his sisters.
He's growing up to be such a great kid. He makes me laugh, he loves to play jokes, he catches all kinds of critters to keep as "pets" (we have a one night limit on these unexpected guests.) His favorite music is the songs we learned at Vacation Bible School at our church (Oh and AC/DC. Cause he is my kid after all.) He takes his turn saying the prayer at dinner. He takes the trash out with out being asked. If this kid keeps going like this his teenage years are going to be a piece of cake. (Dear Mother nature, that was not me tempting you.)
What I'm saying is, my kid kicks serious butt. I'm so very proud to be his Mama.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
I'm also super excited to see that he has the same home room mom as he did in Pre K. Since I work 8-5 at a job almost an hour away from his school I only get to do a select few school parties/trips/assemblies etc. But I certainly want to contribute all that I can outside of my time (which usually means buying supplies/food and sending them with him.) His room mom last year seemed very unorganized. I'd get last minute notes asking us to send something to school the next day. The woman who is the room mom this year (and was when he was in Prek K) is super organized and that's something I really appreciate.
Something else I really loved about last night is that EVERYONE was there. At almost any activity, my ex husband and his fiance, my ex mother in law, my parents, myself and my husband are all there. All there together with no tension. I am very lucky, as odd as this may seem, to have the ex that I do. He and I are both super flexible, we communicate really well and any bitterness that there was last year seems to have disappeared. Don't get me wrong, he and I aren't friends, but I think it's really great that Remi's step parents get to be as involved as his actual parents. The more people around that love my kids the better off they are. We all sit together at events, and the ex and I can switch days or weekends or share our time with the other grandparents with relative ease. As I've mentioned before we share true joint custody (one week with me, one with him.) I signed Alex up for dance, one night a week, and he has no problem giving me his every Monday night. Last weekend (my weekend) he wanted to take Remi camping. No big deal. He lets my mom keep the kids during his time. I let his mom have nights during mine. We just figure that in the long run it's all going to even out. We actually have NO holiday visitation in our custody agreement. We just work it out.
I know that my situation isn't the norm but I feel very blessed to be able to have such an amicable relationship. And I know the kids love being able to have everyone they care about there with no drama. So today I'm giving both my ex and I a pat on the back. We've managed to overcome a lot for the sake of our kids. And I'd like to say we've both found wonderful step parents for our kids. I'm really very grateful to his fiance for loving my kids like her own.
So while our path won't always be smooth, I'm sure, I'm very blessed to have so many people willing to forgive, to move on, and to love these amazing kids of ours.
Monday, August 22, 2011
I'm proud to have my profile up on their Brains Behind the Band page along with other women (and men) who are far braver than I will ever be. Go give those amazing posters some love (and please contribute your own story!) We're working together to break the stigmas of abuse, mental illness, grief and so many other just as important things that thousands of us struggle with every day.
So go on and Join the Band!
PS: We have T-Shirts!
My husband and I had a discussion last night about my blog. About how he thinks some things should be private. I don't disagree. I share here the very tip top of what goes on in our lives. His stories are not mine to tell. I would never share the heart of our marriage. I doubt I could do it justice.
What we disagree on is my diagnosis. He doesn't think I should be so open. I know where he's coming from. Mental illness of any kind comes with a stigma. Which is why I refuse to hide. Because stigmas are bullshit. My husband is afraid I'll be judged. That hurtful things will be said to me or about me. And I'm sure some of that happens. But that's also the same reason that I put myself out there.
I have rough moments. But they are few and far between. And they are infrequent only because I stopped hiding. When I started reaching out, verbalizing what I felt, that's when I got the help and support I needed. That's when things turned around. I don't ever want anyone with a mental illness to feel as though they should hide. To feel as though they are "crazy." To be in a space so low you can't see the light and to be too afraid to reach out. Because that is unacceptable.
I don't expect everyone to understand what I'm dealing with. Most people don't care enough to ask me to explain. They hear "Bipolar" and they judge. They're uneducated and refuse to allow themselves to be educated. I may be Bipolar. But those people are idiots. At least my problem can be medicated.
I refuse to hide just because people who don't really know me, who refuse to get to know me, judge me. I'm not ashamed of who I am. God made me. And God doesn't make mistakes. My unshakable faith, my incredible husband, my three amazing kids, my best friends, my family, my church- these things matter to me.
There is so much good in the worst of us,
And so much bad in the best of us,
That it hardly becomes any of us
To talk about the rest of us.
~Edward Wallis Hoch
Friday, August 19, 2011
This is our weekend with the kids. But my ex asked if he could have Remi and go camping. I said yes so we've just had Alex and El this weekend. We've painted nails, done make up, played dolls and watched lots of Food Network. I miss my boy but its been nice to hang with my daughters.
In 45 minutes Marcus will leave to take El back to her Mom and for a while it will just be me and Alex. I look forward to our weekends with the kids and they always seem to fly by. I love the noise and the racket and the mess that comes with being a family of five.
For four days a month our family feels whole. And while I pray that soon we'll have more time for now those are a really great four days.